FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
