i jhust puked up my retainher.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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