I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
