brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
