i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least life still wants to fuck me.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize