her vagine was all disorganized.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
