Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
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also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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