I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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