Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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