Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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