On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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