who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
