Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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