i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
