So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize