I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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