is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
this beer tastes like vomit already
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
