it hurts more in the daytime
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
