i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
