Say something about gay babies.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
she told me i tasted like america
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
