So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
