I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
