Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
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