i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize