Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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