you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
