She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
