I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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