i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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