College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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