On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
false alarm. still invincible.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Randomize
