you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
