i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
