he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
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