i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
