Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
