she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
i think my cat just said my name.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
