She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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