and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize