You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
