need another drink. this is the easiest way
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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