I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
you never un-have a 4some
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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