can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
