I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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