Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
