I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
