I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
