well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
