i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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