me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
