For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
