I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
