yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
