i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
