he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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