I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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