we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
