Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
