And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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