Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
