at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize