is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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