just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
