I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
