belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
