the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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